David Michael Ray

David Michael Ray was born to David and Joann on November 2, 1953 in Abilene, Texas after days of labor. He was a happy baby, but very quiet. After noticing that he didn’t react to loud sounds or make typical baby noises, testing revealed that Mike was profoundly deaf or hard of hearing. He began speech therapy around the age of two. Mike was an active child, and his deafness didn’t slow him down. He continued going to school to learn to speak and to read lips. Being the son of a pastor also meant he was often at church. Mike’s ready smile endeared him to many.

When he was in 4th grade a new school was started that would combine training in lip reading and sign language. Most deaf people did one or the other. Mike endured long bus rides across Ft Worth, Texas to be able to attend these classes. His parents felt that a strong foundation in both would be helpful to him. Mike was very athletic and loved to play sports. He was on pee wee football teams and enjoyed basketball and baseball. Mike also enjoyed riding his bike and would often disappear for hours, only coming home to eat or at dark, after playing with kids all over the neighborhood. It was either go looking for him or wait until he came home. Mike tried hearing aids, but they offered little help.

Although the family lived in Lubbock, Texas, in 7th grade Mike moved to Austin, Texas to attend the Texas State School for the Deaf. It was thought that this was the best opportunity for him to continue his education. Since it was a boarding school, he didn’t get to come home much. Mike was continuing to play football at the school, so his family flew to watch him. The flight was delayed. Mike had a great game and had even run down the field for a big touchdown. They missed it all. He was so excited to see their reaction to the game, so it was heartbreaking to all to tell him they had missed the game.

The state school was not a good environment for Mike. Most of the kids had been there for most of their lives. He was definitely the new kid. He had to sleep with his wallet in his pillow and with any special items so they wouldn’t be stolen during the night. Thankfully, during a ski trip in 9th grade with a family friend, Mike broke his leg on the last run of the day. The Lubbock school board decided to mainstream him into public school. The first deaf person to do so. Fellow students took notes for him, and his teachers tried to write more on the board.

Mike continued to play sports. One basketball game was particularly memorable, the game was tied, and Mike was fouled. He got two free throws in the last seconds of the game. The opposing team yelled, screamed and stomped! His team and school just smiled, knowing that this was one time that the noise wouldn’t bother the shooter. Even though the family needed to move away to Houston, Mike remained in Lubbock to finish his senior year. He graduated from Coronado High school and others were mainstreamed due to his success.

During the time living in Lubbock, Mike owned a motorcycle. He and his best friend, Tam, would ride all over town. One day, Tam was sitting outside the garage with the doors down when the family returned home. Mike had been hit by a car who had run a red light. God spared him, and due to his large size, he only had one broken leg, and one broken arm! That was after flying up over the car and crashing into the windshield. To say that his mother waited on him hand and foot, for many months, is no exaggeration.

From Houston, the family moved to the Atlanta area. Mike joined them there. He worked the late shift, and his bedroom was in the basement, so it seemed that they really didn’t see him much. All moved back to Texas after a few years, and Mike began a program at Texas A & M to learn computer hardware. He did well and worked for Texas Instruments for many years. Mike was always EARLY for work. He didn’t want to worry about traffic or an accident delaying him, so he would get to work with time to read the paper, eat breakfast in the cafeteria, and relax before he began his day. He also began to use David as his proper name. His family will always call him Mike, but most of his adult friends, knew him as David.

Due to work, Mike moved to Houston. He loved Houston. It was during the “Urban Cowboy” days, and his cowboy/ranching heritage moved him to join right in. Mike couldn’t hear, but he could feel the music. Being athletic and well-coordinated, Mike was a great dancer. He won many local dancing contests. He also loved going to the rodeo. He was a lifetime member of the rodeo association. He had many friends, and really loved living there. Mike was an early candidate for the cochlear implant. He was one of the first to receive the device, but it proved of little benefit. Mike married Yolanda during this time, she was from Venezuela and had been an attorney. They were very happy for a few years, but the huge cultural differences between hearing and deaf, and South American and Texan, plus Mike not knowing Spanish, took a strain. They divorced after 7 years. He never remarried.

Mike was also developing mental illness during these years. He had some problems with it, but medication helped significantly. When Texas Instruments closed and Compaq took over, the problems intensified. Mike went from being a well-respected, hard-working employee to being different, and hard to understand when management changed. He was given contract work, but he never knew when it would end, and the stress was difficult. Paranoia and schizophrenia reared its ugly head, and he began to be afraid and distrustful. Joann, his mom, moved to live with him. She was able to assist him with phone tasks and other things, and to watch his medication carefully. After a few years, they decided to put Mike’s house on the market, and moved to Maui to be closer to Kelle, his sister.

Mike and Joann shared an apartment in Kihei on Maui for over seven years. He loved Hawaii. Mike enjoyed the warm weather and the ease of wearing only shorts, t-shirts, and flip flops. After years of driving in Houston traffic, he really enjoyed the small town feel and easy roads in Kihei and on Maui.

Over the years, Mike’s mental illness grew more difficult. After almost a year of episodes, he went to Molokini Hospital for care. When he had completed 10 months there, he was moved to Oahu to Second Chances Home, under the guardianship of Hawaii. It was not the right type of facility for Mike, and the care there was poor.  His family regularly called about him, but since they had no way to actually talk to him, they had no idea of his situation. After living there for six months, a case worker found him deathly ill on his bed. He was moved to Queen’s Hospital in Honolulu with pneumonia and other infections. His family checked on him often, and sent messages of love. He seemed to be really improving, when the call came that he had passed away.

Mike is deeply loved and missed. He always used the hand signal for I Love You when saying goodbye. He used it often, so we know that he loved deeply as well.